Hi! It's me. I'm the unmarried one.[1]
This all started with a phone call this afternoon from M. She wanted to know if she could send me a link to a podcast. M prefaced her sending me the link by saying that I'm a thoughtful and kind person, and maybe I could give it a listen and replicate the experiment. I didn't have to, if I didn't want to, but could I at least give it a listen.
The podcast is called "This is the Gospel Podcast", the episode is called "Love Lessons".
All of my friends reading this, have just scoffed. The last time I went on a date was a year ago, and I disliked it so much I haven't given anyone a chance since.
But as I've neared 30, I've started saying yes to more things.
Enter Tamara.
Tamara is featured on this particular episode of "This is the Gospel Podcast", sharing her story of going on 31 dates in 31 days. Here's a link to the podcast. I knew that I was going to embark on this project, even before I listened to the podcast. But I gave it a listen anyway, to learn how it worked and what Tamara learned.
The Rules.
When Tamara embarked on her project to date 31 men in 31 days, documented on her blog here, she set herself some rules. Tamara based her number 31 off of the fact that her 31st birthday approached, I'm only approaching my 30th, so I've adjusted her rules to match my number.
30 dates in 30 days
1) Every day is a new guy, for the first 29 days (see 8 below)
2) A blog post for every day/date
3) The man doesn't have to meet any past requirements [2]
4) No dinner/movie or dinner only dates, get out an explore the city
5) At least 30 min per date
6) No more than $30/date
7) No kissing any of them
8) Day 30 is a second date
Honestly, rule 8 might be the hardest. All of my friends will vouch for the fact that I am terrible at communicating and maintaining relationships through texting. But in order to go on a second date, I will probably have to maintain a semblance of a relationship over the course of the project. So if any of the men I've gone on a date with find this, just know it *is* me and I *am* working on it.
Biggest Fear.
Tamara and I share a fear at the beginning of this project.
Who are these men going to be? Can I even find 30 men who will want to go on a date with me? And will let me write about it?
This is why I'm starting 21 days out. In 3 days I sit for the Patent Bar. In 18 days it is my birthday. My hope is that between now and Day 1 I can get some men lined up, I will be calling in all of the people I know. So if you know me, and are reading this, send me a text or email with an idea.
Because this is going to take a community.
Another commonality.
Tamara mentioned in the podcast that she didn't start this project wanting to get married. I can relate. I don't really want to get married. I am very happy being single. I get to make all of my own choices about where I live, what I'm doing, and I can just take off for Europe for a month. Why would I want to change all that? Is having a partner, some one who can be relied on to support in washing the dishes and in reminding me to put aside the grading, worth it?
Tamara's Lessons.
1) Falling too quickly (always immediately imagining the future)
2) What makes this person so special?
Tamara walked away from her project having discovered (1) about herself, and having decided that (2) is the most important question she could ask about a date. I'm intrigued about asking (2) of every date. I believe deeply that every person is important to the world, and has value. I think that the only way to truly heal our world is through building community. Communities in geographic areas, and communities that cross physical boundaries. Getting to know someone and finding out what makes them special, builds a little more community.
Here's to learning something about me, at the very least.
Love,
Me
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[1] Which is, in my humble opinion, not actually a problem.
[2] except they can't give the creepy serial killer vibe
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